29

Today I turn 29. I have this weird thing where I hate odd number so not thrilled to be back to an odd age… I’m very odd, I know. On my 28^th birthday, I posted about how it’s important to grow in more ways than just age. As I reflect on the last year, I feel I have grown. Growth often happens not in the joyful moments of life, but in the struggles. This year has certainly had both!

When looking at my last year from a bird’s eye view, it’s been a good year! I’ve been on several vacations including an amazing trip of a lifetime to New Zealand. I went on many adventures with amazing people. I got plenty of quality time with family. I have a very fortunate job situation. I have an amazing husband who supports all my crazy goals and desires. I got to push myself hard, mentally and physically, daily for many, many months. I became an Ironman. That is a statement you only get to make once and only if you work hard with a bit of luck. It was amazing, an experience I will never forget. Strangely, it’s hard for me to believe that was only last year. It feels like I crossed that finish line so long ago. True, things have not gone my way since then in the triathlon world but I’ve made my peace with that. It is in that space I feel have grown the most.

I’ve reflected on my life a lot over the last few months. What do I want it to look like, how do I want to spend my time, how do I want to live it? I don’t think many people often sit back and take a good look at their life and question what is the “right” path and if they are on the “right” path. There is no right path in life! But I don’t want to simply stumble through life in the dark hoping I don’t trip and accidently fall off a cliff. I want to grab life by the balls, take risks, stand on the edge of the cliff knowing I might fall or knowing it might mean greatness. I want to enjoy life’s little moments, strive for greatness, search for joy, surround myself with people I love. It’s important to surround yourself with good people, who care about you and are generally positive. I can feel when I’m around people who are often angry or sad how it pulls me down into their depths as well, reminding me of the bad in my life. Sometimes choosing the light can be difficult, but it is a choice.

This year has been full of choices. Some small and insignificant. Some life impacting. Some made by myself, for myself. Some made as a family. I’ve debated A LOT about races over the next year all while knowing these are decisions fall under “insignificant” in the greater realm of life. What happened with New Zealand took the fire out of me. I spent time being frustrated and then I focused on becoming healthy and building back a basic level of fitness. I knew thinking of racing would distract me from what was important, healing and being patient. I realized that although triathlon is very important to me and plays a huge part in my life, it is not my life. It is not what I am. It is something I do. I do this because it makes me happy and I will continue as long as it makes me happy. There’s a tiny little flame there to truly tackle a race again. I can’t tell if it will burn bright by tackling another Ironman trying to redeem what was taken away or focusing on a different goal. What I do know? It doesn’t matter right now. The time will come when I will be ready to set myself aflame and I will know what I want to do. In the meanwhile, I know what makes me happy is still training, growing and bettering myself where I can. Although I am still young, I am thankful for what my body will allow me to do because there are no guarantees in life that tomorrow it won’t be taken away. So thank you body for the last 28 years of mostly staying in one piece. I’ve had surgeries and injuries and setbacks but I’ve still accomplished amazing challenges with it… please be nice this next year!

Today I stand 29, a bit wiser and stronger than a year ago, and for that I am thankful along with so many other things. Cheers to another year!