December wrapped in a bow

The end of 2015… I don’t feel quite ready to wrap up the year when I’m still thinking of only this past month. December has been an interesting month. Both good and bad mixed together, a little hectic at times as you would expect the holiday season to be.

I co-hosted another successful annual murder mystery party with Ashlee. This year a masquerade theme.

I went a whole 9 days without eating desserts which was probably a record for the whole year. I lost 2lbs. Then I finally broke down under the pressure of my coworkers and gave into the holiday sweets being brought in daily and a plate of cookies dropped off at my house. And whenever I break on eating, I don’t just trip and fall off the cliff into a plate of cookies. I run full sprint off the cliff and cannonball into a sea of cookies. And cake. And brownies. And cupcakes. And melted chocolate chips with peanut butter (seriously need to kick that habit). All this combined with a steady stream of eating all day for the 6 days up north for the holidays equaled a 7lb gain.

We went up to Virginia to spend Christmas with my family. On the way up with were rear ended and pushed into the car in front of us. That was a wonderful way to kick off the holidays. Still dealing with a tiny bit of pain from that. Today we bought a new car to replace the wrecked one. Going home was good but it certainly had its sad moments. It was my first time being back in the house since my mom passed away. But we kept the Christmas spirit as alive as possible including us sisters and kids eating Christmas Eve dinner wearing Alaska pajamas. We know how to be fancy! Stretchy pants are a must for that much eating. Got several great triathlon related Christmas presents because I’m a nerd and that’s pretty much all I asked for. Spent Christmas morning running with my family until my husband wanted to stop 20 minutes in a tried to blame it on Nikita being tired. Finished the run by myself wearing shorts and a sports bra which is certainly a new Christmas experience for me all around.

Training has gone pretty darn well this month. I’m still dealing with various injury issues but I’ve been making progress and it hasn’t held me back too much in training. This is the first time I’ve had a consistent block of training since working with Katie without interruptions from traveling, tapering, racing, recovering, injury and whatever else life has put me through this year. The results are exciting. Suddenly one week I magically started doing my easy runs at about a minute faster pace. Now my legs have some catching up to do with my lower heartrate. I did another FTP test (why so many of these? so painful!) using my new power meter and had awesome power gains from my last test. I’ve been doing more strength training since it’s the off season and I’m getting stronger and bigger… in a muscle way, not just fat way. Today I wrapped up the year with a 5K swim which is by far the longest I’ve ever swam and it felt good (minus my shoulder pains which have crept back).

My December goals were to look at my strengths and weaknesses and develop plans to fix my weaknesses. I’ve done some digging into what I do well and what I need to improve on. Looking at my list I realized… and as Katie pointed out…. most of them are things I control and can easily fix. Trying to make a lot of changes at once can be a bit overwhelming so I’ve been trying to work on a few things here or there. Like better sleeping habits. Walking with my feet pointed forward and less duck like in hopes that makes my running form better. Mobility every day. These are small changes but important. I know I still have a ton of simple changes to make that mostly require a mental change (for heaven sakes breathe on your left side!). Overall looking at weaknesses and improving them is an ongoing process and I realize that. It’s a matter of looking at the work that needs to be done, the changes that need to be made and committing to it. There will be plenty of that going on next year. Until next year (aka a few hours from now), it’s time to fill that space with a few more happy memories to end the year on a good note with family and friends. Goodbye 2015. I’m not sad to see you go.

My frienemy the trainer

A trainer truly is a great tool. Some might say you can get a better workout on a trainer than you can on the road because you can be consistent and not worry about constantly stopping to not get hit by cars. Trainers are awesome because you can train in the comfort of your home when it’s dark or cold or raining or your coach gave you power numbers and you don’t have a power meter yet. Luckily that last one won’t be the case anymore because Christmas came early!

 

However, trainers can really suck! I’m not sure if it’s the fact that I’m always sweating buckets despite being shirtless, having the fan on and having my house in the low 60s (because I’m cheap about stupid things but have no problem buying a power meter). Maybe it’s the fact that as fast as I pedal I’m going nowhere and still stuck looking at my same surroundings and the lack of visual stimuli makes it worse. It’s probably some part that there is zero coasting. Whatever it is, the trainer simply feels harder than riding outdoors.

In the beginning there was nothing but hate towards the trainer. Over time and many, many hours on it I grew to be ok with it. Not loving it, just ok. The feeling that it was still harder than the road continued to stay there. I was convinced that the speed numbers were WAY off because my average speeds were 1-2mph slower than what I’d average on the road. However there was one piece in information I choose to ignore when thinking all this. My heartrate. Despite feeling like I was putting a decent effort in my HR would always seem low.

While on the trainer today (or several days ago because I forgot to post this) I was doing intervals that involved a certain cadence but no power range, just “strong”. The difference between two gears was about 30W which is a decent jump. I spend the first set going back and forth and settling on the easier gear. After that I decided I’d do the harder gear and if in a later interval I had to go easier, I could. But then I started getting pissed off at myself for even thinking that. I don't HAVE to do anything and the harder gear really wasn't THAT hard and the point of all this training isn't to just coast along so that on race day I don’t have the race I want. 

I'm sick of telling myself that the trainer is more difficult than the road and that those speeds can't be accurate because I go faster on the road because it’s all bullshit. Trainer, road, same thing, same effort. I just choose to go easier on the trainer because I’ve convinced myself it’s harder and I can look at my low HR as proof. Yes it sucks putting the effort I should be on trainer compared to the road but it-is-the-same-effort. I repeat THE SAME! It’s only in my head that I think it’s harder and I’m sick of my head getting in the way. I need to force myself to put in the real work otherwise I'll never improve especially being trapped inside on the trainer so much during these months. I'm sick of feeling like I'm holding myself back on the trainer. So in all my annoyance and talking angrily to myself (in my head, not out loud), I choose to stay in the harder gear each time. And because I was still annoyed at myself I even picked it up a tiny bit for the last few sets. That’s the type of energy and intention I need to bring to every single training session on the bike… just maybe in less angry way. No more coasting… or playing with Nikita during recovery. 

Zzzzzz

Among my hunt for things to improve in my life right now, sleep was pretty high on the list. I was sick of sitting at my desk feeling like a zombie unable to focus because all I wanted to do was crawl under my desk and nap. I know what it feels like to be physically beat down by training but this is not that. This is the combo of general training fatigue, nothing too bad, but doing all the training on not enough sleep. I’ve always said I require about 9 hours of sleep every night and I get nowhere near that. Maybe once a week I get that. I’m not suggesting I move my whole life around to get 9 hours because I probably don’t reallllly need that much but I want to make it a priority to get close to 8 hours. Sleep plays such a huge part in training. Recovery is just as important if not more important than the hard work. Your body repairs all that damage and builds muscles while you are sleeping.

In an attempt to actually enjoy “off season” a bit I’m trying to have an actual real social life appropriate for my age which apparently means going out downtown around the time I normally go to bed. I don’t agree with these times but I don’t make the rules for what time rest of the world wants to go out (crazy I know). Right now I’m making the conscious decision to stay out late maybe once or twice a week knowing it will throw my sleep schedule off. Luckily with it being the winter there’s not a huge need to wake up early on weekends to beat the heat for long rides and runs. However my body seems unable to sleep in anymore so staying out late just means less sleep. 

During weekdays I can do a decent job getting into bed early but then I just lay there awake. This can range from 20 minutes to hours. There were a few months this year when everything was going on with my mom that it got so bad a doctor actually prescribed me sleeping pills to use when needed which I used 2-3 times a week. Luckily my sleeping has improved significantly since and I haven’t touching those pills in months. Still I’m on the hunt to find various things I can do to be like those people I’m so jealous of that hit the pillow and are asleep 2 minutes later. Seriously… very jealous.

Perusing the internet (because the internet has all the answers) I looked at the quick fixes. I know the room temperature plays a big part because I struggle in the summer. Despite it being winter which should mean better sleep, something was off. Realized I never added an extra blanket …duh. Quick fix one done! Read a shower before bed can help which I already do a lot since I do a second training most nights. Researched if exercising right before bed hurts sleep and that data seems kind of mixed but most people report it doesn’t hurt their sleep. I realized when I’m alone in the house I have the radio on a lot so instead of calming myself before crawling into bed I’m keeping myself pumped up with music. I'm fully aware that having a husband and dog in bed with me hurts being able to fall and stay asleep. I can't bring myself to kick my dog out though. Or my husband I guess. 

All these are small changes that are certainly important but don’t have the biggest impact. The two main reasons I cannot fall asleep: electronics and my mind going a million miles an hour.

Unfortunately I find watching TV filled my head with useless stuff to think about instead of actual real life stuff. That actually helps me because there isn’t some situation to work though or checklist to make or work thing to stress about. It's just random thoughts of fiction people and fiction stories floating through my head that I have an easier time letting go of to fall asleep. Finding an alternative to silencing my mind is still a work in progress since TV is not the solution.

My family will always talk about TV shows and ask do you watch this one or that one and typically my response is no I don’t have time to watch any more TV shows (I have a set few I’ve watched for years). They look at me like I’m crazy since I don’t have kids how could I not have time for lots of TV. Training is like a part time job, it takes up a lot of my free time. This leaves a little time to watch TV before bed or on weekends… or while eating but we’ll disregard that bad habit right now.

I also feel the need to do a last round check of all my apps on my phone right before I go to bed. But why? Do I really need to check Facebook one more time? Do I really need to check if I got any new emails? No. I don’t. All those things can wait until the morning.

This is leading to a new routine before bed. Actually it starts before bed time. As soon as I have time after work I prep my breakfast, gym bag, etc for the next day so I’m not running around the house like a crazy woman when I should be in bed. The real change is cutting off electronics before bed. A minimum of 30 minutes before but ideally an hour or more. Instead I’m crawling into bed to read a book or the huge stacks of free magazines I have from expired airline miles. As much as I like watching TV, this feels so much more productive. TV really is kinda a waste of time…. who knew?!

And you know what? I can already feel the effects from these changes. I am falling asleep faster and I am getting more sleep and that feels great. I don’t feel like a zombie at work and I have more energy for training. Now I need to really make these habits I do every day and make sure I don’t revert back to my old ways.

Now I urge all of you to look at your sleeping habits and see what you can change to get more zzzzz’s...

This month for next year

Off season is a time when you see plenty of people taking it easy and enjoying themselves a bit while they aren’t in the thick of training. While I’m more likely to blow past my heartrate cap to try and keep up with friends during a ride, I don’t look at this time as a time to get it super easy. I’m trying to take advantage of this slightly slower time to make small but important changes. That started with food which is what all my November goals revolved around. And although I did pretty well I know there’s still plenty more work to do. November goals…

-          Focus on healthy carbs aka fruits and veggies. – I’ve made some great progress with this. The amount of fruits hasn’t gone up a ton because I was already decent about this. I think I’ve had more veggies this month than ever before. That’s both great and kind of sad.

-          Experiment with fall veggies before they all disappear. I know butternut squash is good, move on and try something else. – Check! I’ve had lots and lots of brussel sprouts and spaghetti squash which are both surprisingly good.

-          Increase protein and focus on getting protein in every meal and in more forms than just protein powder, Greek yogurt or peanut butter. – Also an improvement. Been giving into my non vegetarian ways more by eating more chicken.

-          Don’t overeat during Thanksgiving week (see first goal – don’t go crazy on rolls and pasta!). I know the holidays seem like it’s all about food but it’s not…shocker family, I know! It’s about being with family. – Ok this one was a fail. I did OK most of the week until Thanksgiving dinner and the next day with leftovers. I did try to load my plate up with the veggies first but unfortunately they all had lot of butter and/or sugar.

-          Eat all the veggies I buy. If I’m going to insist on continuing to buy from Costco, actually commit to eating it all and stop being wasteful! – Check as well! This proves I’m eating more veggies especially since everything I’m buying I pretty much have to eat by myself.

Katie said something that got me thinking. The athlete that I choose to be today will be the one toeing the line on race day. Obviously not physically because I have a ton of training to do between now and then. This means the decisions I make day in and day out. Do I choose to stumble through training or bring focus to each session? Do I choose to eat melted peanut butter and chocolate chips every day or do I stuff my face with veggies? Do I choose to stay out late drinking with friends or do I drink water and leave early for a good night sleep? I realized there’s a different between making smart decisions and being crazy-over-the-top-no-life-strict but I also know what I want at the end of the day. This is about finding the right balance. “Off season” is a good time to take a hard look at myself and figure out what I do well, what works, and what I need to change. This month’s goals…

-          Figure out my strengths and weaknesses

-          Figure out how to turn my weaknesses into strengths