If there is one constant in this world, it’s change. My
free subscription to Headspace might have run out but it still gives me little
nuggets of insight every day. It reminded me of the power of change. “Everything
and everyone is constantly changing. This includes ourselves. Change is
inevitable, resistance is futile.”
It’s easy to get complacent with our lives. We go to our
jobs we assume we’ll still have until we decide to leave on our own accord. We
assume our bodies will continue to function as we see fit. We count on our
friends and family to be there for us. But the world is out of control. One day
everything in your life could be going perfectly, exactly as planned. The next
day you and your husband could be hit by a bus which kills him and leaves you paralyzed
from the waist down. Goodbye husband, goodbye health, goodbye current life. A
little dramatic, but you get my point. Change is inevitable. We cannot fight
what we cannot control.
Most would consider me a pessimist or say I need to see a
shrink for making comments like this… I expect bad things to happen. My life is
by no means perfect. I’ve had a few physical and training setbacks over the
last few years. In the grand scheme of things, these would be considered
first-world “problems”. A few years ago, I experienced a horrible loss that I
still feel today. But otherwise, in my eyes, my life has been good and I’ve
been very fortunate. My husband would say this is because we made the most of
what we were given in life and have made good decisions. I would agree with
this to a certain degree but few bad things have hit us in life, the things out
of our control. Unfortunately, one of those things has hit him recently.
So if change is inevitable, why do we always fight it?
When we return from an injury, why do we try to return to our former athletic self?
We are not the same. Something changed and we are now different. And different
does not have to be a bad thing. On the contrary, it can be a very good thing.
Change should be something we look for and embrace. Life would be boring and
stale without it. I want to look for the next challenge, the next way to
improve my life and myself. I want to experience new things, places and people.
I don’t want to simply fall into the routine of life without the big
earthquakes shaking the living shit out of me and pushing me into a different direction.
I will rarely appreciate it in the moment but it makes life interesting and it
makes me grow.
Last weekend I went for an hour run. This is a big step
for me in the progress to return to “normal” running. Not only was it an hour, but
I was allowed to run just above the heartrate cap I’ve been bound by for
months. It was exhilarating. My legs were exhausted from all the other training
earlier in the weekend but my legs felt free. I was surprised to see the paces
I was hitting. I reigned in my overexcitement and calmly told myself my patience
was starting to pay off. All I kept thinking was I’m finally starting to see pieces
of the runner I used to be. Then it hit me. Why do I want to be the running I
was before the crash? I want to be better. I know I can be better.
Stop trying to get back to what we were before this or
before that happened. Embrace the changes that have happened, forget what you
once were and focus on what you could become. It might not be what you imagined
or hoped for but who knows, I might be so much better. Change is inevitable. Resistance
is futile. Embrace the change.
