Ironman Louisville Run

Bang your head against the wall
You may feel light headed, but you won't crawl, no, you won't fall
You will rise above it all
You'll find what you're searching for
And you may feel light headed
You think you're gonna hit the floor
Instead you rise above it all

The whole training season there was not one song I listed to more than "Bang My Head". The lyrics were fitting.  I knew the whole song by heart. And yet during the run the only lyrics I could some up with were you might think you're dying but you won't. My brain and body were in survival mode to get through the last leg of the race.

Katie had mentally prepared me for the run best she could but as she said, there's no way to really know what it will feel like until you've done one. She was very right. She warned me how many people would be walking and early on and to not get sucked into it. I could run the whole thing. Months before the race when I was barely running due to injury I only wanted to finish the race, irrelevant of how much walking it took. Weeks before the race I knew I had a chance of running a lot of it. Katie drilled into my head that I did not have to walk at all and with hesitation, I allowed myself to believe it because I knew my brain would be the only reason I'd walk. If I couldn't convince myself to run the whole thing before the race, how would I do it in the moment?

I started the run in good spirits. I got to see family again on the start of the run. As I went past where the second loop starts, I saw my friend/coworker started his second loop and waited for him to pass me. We chatted for a few seconds about how he was hurting and overheated and I got a very sweaty pat/side hug as he passed and then there were no more distractions. It was time to actually focus on the run. My pace was on point and felt comfortable, or at least as comfortable as it can feel after racing for over 7 hours. Then I noticed the stomach pain again from the bike. I don't think it every went away I was just very distracted with transition and the commotion of starting the run.

I spent much of the run trying to figure out what was causing the stomach pain and how to fix it. I realized very early into the run that I had experienced this exact problem at NOLA 70.3 during the run. After the race I even went back to read my comments about that race to confirm it was the same pain. It's a pain I've never experienced during training but I sometimes get it during day to day life. It's normally after I'm very hungry and then I eat a bunch. When I get this pain all I can do is curl up in a ball and wait for it to pass which is normally coupled with farting or burping. It's as if the food and air gets trapped in my stomach and nothing is getting digested. If you look at my profile you can see the top of my stomach is physically bulged out and its hard. So to experience something that normally leaves me in a pathetic ball, it's natural to assume it was difficult to run through. I knew eating was going to make it worse so I held off off on that and only took small sips out of the bottle I was carrying.

The pain kept getting worse and at only mile 2 I was forced to walk because at that point I was starting to bend over to help with the pain. As soon as I stopped running I started burping a ton and that helped out a lot. I was able to get back to work and didn't have to walk again until almost 10 miles in after my bottle ran out and I needed to pee. Once again I have to comment that the weather conditions were great this day. I'd ask a volunteer to throw a cup of ice down my sports bra during aid stations (along with some weird looks) and that was about all I needed to prevent overheating. Although my stomach pain was in check during those miles, I was starting to feel the pain everywhere else. My feet were killing me, my hip was hurting, my muscles wanted to stop. I kept chugging along best I could though and was holding onto a steady pace. I'd occasionally think about form but it's evident from pictures that my tired, worn down body returned to some bad and weird habits such as chicken-wing-mid-line-crossing arms and hitch-hiker thumb and of course, heel stomping.

I knew I'd see family at the half way point and that kept me going. I wanted to look strong and happy for them. Coming back into downtown Louisville the crowds grew and that really did amp me up. My husband ran with me for a tiny  bit while I explained that I was ok but my stomach was giving me a hard time and I didn't know what to do and everything hurt which you can actually tell the story I'm telling through the photos.

 

 

 The one thing I really hated about this course is they run you right past the finish line before going out for the second loop. Not kind of close, so close you can taste of energy and hear the announcer and your body wants nothing more than to go straight instead of turn right to do the run all over again. I passed special needs, got a second bottle but didn't have a need for the extra chews as I was still under eating due to my stomach. Then it was back out on the lonely road.

I was still battling the stomach pain. After I ran out of my first bottle I had some small cups of water mixed with gatoraid and I think that made my stomach worse so I tried straight water and that didn't do me any favors either so I tried coke. That seems to be the best  choice. Once I had my second bottle I kept taking sips out of that but my stomach wasn't having it. I couldn't stop myself from drinking it though. I knew I had to throw it away to stop but it was like this security blanket I couldn't let go. Eventually I forced myself to throw it away around mile 16 and I decided to stick to coke for rest of the run. This allowed me to walk during aid stations to get that down but I was using that as an excuse to walk too much. At first it was walk until I drank and then run again. Then it was walk the whole length of the aid station (which are long). Then I was walking past the aid stations. Then it was walking up the hill that was close enough to flat to not even count as a hill. My stomach hurt. Everything hurt. I was so tired. I'd never experienced this level of fatigue in my life. I just wanted to be done. My mile times went from being in the 10s to 11s to 12s.  Then I had decided to go the bathroom again and I saw a 13. Then another 13.

It was at that time I knew I had a choice. The two slower miles was enough to get my stomach to settle down. I was doing lots of math at this point. I heard someone say what time it was and I thought I could make it under 13 hours. I also kept calculating how fast rest of my miles would have to be to run the marathon under 5 hours. I went in with no goals and no expectations but at that point I allowed myself to make a goal. Under 13 total, under 5 for the marathon. I looked down at my hand which still clearly said "For Mom" and I said ok Mom, let's finish this.

I had 4 miles left. I pulled my visor down so I only could see a little pavement but then I was convinced I was going to run into something during a small out and back. Then I started counting my steps over and over again. 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4. I tried remembering the lyrics to that damn song but for the life of my I couldn't come up with them. I thought about everyone who was hitting refresh on the results page and all the people who had supported me on this long journey. I thought about my mom. I still walked a few times but less and for short times. I was able to pull my times back into the 11s even with the walking. As Katie said, it felt like I was running a 10K even though I wasn't moving fast. I stuck to only coke during those miles and was pissed off whenever the aid stations were out which happened often. I was convinced I was losing a toenail but said oh well, that will be fun to look at afterwards (turned out to be a giant blister wrapped all around the toenail). But despite everything really really really hurting, I was happy during those miles. It had been a long day and I was almost done. Almost done with my first Ironman. I was about to become an Ironman. I would only get to experience that once and I wanted to enjoy each of those last moments.

 

The finish line happened all too fast. I remember running harder. I remember being behind a guy who slowed to grabbed a big flag and thinking no you will NOT be in my way while I cross the finish line, this is my time! and passing him. I sort of heard them say I was an Ironman. I do remember being overwhelmingly filled with joy. A volunteer started taking care of me as soon as I crossed the line. She handed me a thermal silver blanket and I was too tired to argue that I was warm and didn't need one. I got shuffled down the long chute, took some pictures and found my family. Luckily I was not the only one tearing up and it made me even more happy to see the acknowledgment on their faces of what I had just done. I am an Ironman.

 26.2 mile run - 4:53:52

Overall Ironman - 12:46:03, 26/75 AG

There is no doubt that the road to becoming an Ironman can be very lonely at times and it is an individual sport. That does not take away the fact that it would not have been possible without the people in my life. Now I'll warn you I'm going into my Emmy award winning speech so most of you can click away. I'd like to thank...
All my friends and family that have supported me along the way. For many, many months you had to put up with me, my training, and my overall lifestyle. Many nights of not going out, saying no to a drink, having to eat dinner early so I could get to bed early to wake up early to train, training while on vacations, always bringing my bike with me when I traveled, being a particular eater, being exhausted all the time and therefore not a lot of fun. The list goes on and on and all of you put up with my ridiculous hobby and I thank you so much for that. 
Big thanks and shoot out to my spectator/sherpa crew at this race! You guys were awesome and having you with me on that day made it extra special. Knowing I'd see you throughout the day gave me something to look forward to.

 Coach Katie... you got me to the starting line not only in one piece, but very prepared to tackle the day. This day would not have been successful without your guidance. I've made huge strides since I've started working with you and I continue to grow as an athlete thanks to you. 
My husband. There are not enough words to thank you for your support and love. You allow me to pursue my hobby and dreams and with full support. You put up with more than anyone else and never complain. I am very lucky to have someone who loves me enough to put  up with all of this and I love you so much for that. 
Thank you everyone!!!